The Top 10 Reasons David Letterman Is Retiring

Yes it’s true! David Letterman is retiring in 2015.

Of course, he has his reasons. Here are:

The Top 10 Reasons David Letterman Is Retiring

#10 Cher is looking for a night time talk show slot.

#9 You just can’t a good jumbo sized soda in New York anymore.

#8 His show schedule is interfering with efficient binge-watching of Kevin Bacon movies.

#7 Paul Shaffer is joining The Roots.

#6 Jerry Lawler has asked to come back on the show.

#5 You just can’t get a good jumbo sized cigar in New York anymore.

#4 Regis needs a new golf buddy.

#3 The new law which limits countdown lists to 9 items.

#2 Dennis Rodman is out. Somebody has to go to North Korea.

#1 Oprah. Just Oprah.

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